Around this time last year I wrote,
“As the inevitable end drew near, every living thing exploded with color — as if begging the world to remember that they had given their all, even til the end.”
And, as I read it again this year, my first thought was a little conceited: “Dang, girl! You wrote that?? You wrote that!”
But, after my mental self-accolades ended, I felt a familiar ache in my heart.
Have I exploded with color? Am I giving my all? Does my life matter?
I’ve been on a musical kick lately, and Waving Through a Window from the musical, Dear Evan Hansen, has become my anthem.
I could honestly write a different post for just about every sentence in the song (yes, it’s that good of a song–go listen to it), but one crescendo, in particular, is interrupted with a thought that immediately came to mind after reading my year-old musings:
“When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It’s like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?”
*(Cue crashing crescendo that makes you want to jump up and dance on Broadway.)*
Now, I wasn’t reminded of this part because of the nature reference in both pieces of writing (okay, maybe.) but more so because of the desperation felt behind each — will my life count for something before I’m out of time?
Your twenties are a real weird place to be in life, let me tell ya.
You’re struggling to figure out just where your place is in this world. You’re learning just how little that diploma means. You’re on completely different ends of the spectrum from some of your peers (some single, others married with two kids by now). You’re exhausted but wondering if you’re really doing enough with your life. Your dreams are big but your wallet sure isn’t.
You’re questioning if this is really it.
And I’m right there with you, friend, looking for the answer.
Feeling hopeful, but feeling . . . stuck.
Waiting for the crescendo to come in your own song.
So, I’m doing something a little different with this post.
(because, after staring at this screen for the past hour and not writing anything, I’ve determined I honestly don’t have anything more valuable to add to…)
Will you help me write it? Please?
In the comments below, let me hear it.
Give us advice, and give us stories.
Spill your wisdom and your experiences.
Share your hopes and your frustrations.
Are you feeling stuck?
How do you want to make a sound and explode with color in your life?
How have you done so already?
Please, friends, let’s write this together. Because, after all, isn’t that the beauty of it? We don’t marvel at one leaf changing colors in the fall while the rest stay the same —
we marvel as “every living thing exploded with color.” TOGETHER.