Why I’m Ashamed to be a White Conservative in America Today

You’d have to be living under a rock to not know the pain and tension that has stormed in and wrapped its cold, steely fingers around the heart of our country recently. #BlackLivesMatter has taken the internet by storm…but what about the rest of us–the white of us?

ashamed to be a white conservative
photo courtesy of Taylor Schulz Photography

Our world is an absolute mess right now. Terrorism, natural disasters, poverty, war, displaced refugees, broken families, governmental abuse of power, and now, senseless killings have taken over our country.

So many things could be said about what is going on in our country–but so many things already have been said.

Thoughtful things. Hateful things. Helpful things. Harmful things.

But I’m not here to tell you why certain words are better than others. I’m not here to tell you that Black Lives Matter more than others or even that All Lives Matter (they do. But that’s a story for another time.) I’m not here to explain why police are good or bad, or to discuss gun violence or gun laws, or to debate politics. And, to be honest, I don’t even follow politics or current events all that closely anymore.

But I do know that our country seems to believe that hate can drive out hate.

Our nation has fallen for the lie that violence can defeat violence, and that fire can fight fire. We’ve come to believe that “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” is how we should handle conflict instead of turning the other cheek.

How quickly those who idolize Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. have forgotten his biblically sound words:


But as much as my heart breaks for the victims of these evils, I’m ashamed.

  • I’m ashamed to be a white conservative because the color of my skin makes me feel like I need to keep quiet. Like I don’t have a right to be proud of my ancestry. Colleen Mitchell touches on 10 Reasons I Don’t Want to Be Your White Ally on her blog, Blessed Are the Feet, and she does such an adequate job of explaining some of the unvoiced reasons many white people have stayed silent on these issues.

Black people hold rallies in hopes to spark change; to show that not all people of that color are what their stereotype has labeled them. Yet my skin color says that I am privileged and entitled. That I don’t work hard for the things that I have or strive to uphold high standards. Did I come from a home that supported me in every way possible?


But the quality upbringing my parents provided should not be held against me anymore than an inner city child’s upbringing should be held against him or her.

  • I’m ashamed to be a white conservative because our country has reached a point where they only want Christians around when tragedy strikes and they want prayer. I’m ashamed that I’ve allowed myself to accept that norm and to forget to lift our nation up until something like this happens.

In the minds of the minority groups, white conservatives are the power-hungry majority who rule the land with an iron first–the ones who believe everyone should pay taxes and not just the rich, the ones who oppose things like abortion and homosexuality and government control. But if you truly look at the direction our society is headed, white conservatives are being squeezed out.

We are deemed old-fashioned and haters and bigots for standing firm in what we believe, just because the things we believe don’t float well in mainstream society.

Caucasian college students don’t receive scholarships based on their ethnicity–can you imagine the uproar and protests of racism if we did?

And please, please don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying these things to draw attention away from actual hate crimes going on in our country as I type.

I’m not telling some white girl’s sob story about how “hard” it is to be white in the Midwest.

I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me or white conservatives in general.

I’m trying to make you understand that we are making the wrong people the enemy in this country.

  • I’m ashamed because these prejudices make me feel as if there is nothing I can do to invoke change in our society; that being white means maybe I shouldn’t even pay attention to the news.

And, honestly, ashamed is probably too strong of a word–it’s emotionally triggering, it’s most likely the reason you followed a link to this post. But emotionally triggering words are exactly how the Mainstream Media entices us to gobble up the garbage they feed us. I could go into details regarding how all the stories left untold by the media because of race or religion or politics that don’t meet their liberal criteria, but that’s not the point.

The point is, I don’t feel shame over my race or convictions so much as I feel like a helpless outsider.

Because what difference can a white girl from a small Mennonite farming town make in this evil world?

Well, I’ll tell you: she can hit her knees and pray, just as 2 Chronicles 7:14 suggests.

“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

Because black people are not what is wrong with our country.

Police officers are not what is wrong with our country.

Immigration is not what is wrong with our country.

Homosexuals are not what is wrong with our country.

Liberals are not what is wrong with our country.

Conservatives are not what is wrong with our country.

Gun laws are not what is wrong with our country.

Politicians are….not…what is wrong with our country (well….)

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” –Jeremiah 17:9

If you have read any Christian’s social media or blog posts recently, you already know that the real problem with America today is a heart issue.

We have allowed our country to stray so very far from the principles upon which we were founded. I’m not trying to debate politics with you in the least. But one cannot deny that our Founding Fathers held core Christian values in mind when writing the Constitution.

We have become a house divided against itself–and in Mark 3, Jesus is very clear that “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” 

Yet, until each individual chooses to go to the heart of the matter–their own heart–there will never be a positive change in this country. Until we realize that the real enemy is not individuals of a different skin color, but rather, our own hearts of stone, nothing is going to change. Until we as a nation intentionally humble ourselves, and pray, and seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways, we won’t see God move.

Friends, our knees are powerful joints–not just because they help us walk up and down stairs and run and jump–but because when righteous and redeemed people hit their knees, God will shake the whole Earth.

These are worrisome times. But we have a God who commands us not to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.

Maybe there isn’t much I can physically do to make a difference as a white conservative in America today.

But faith can move mountains, and I believe that–through no power of our own–we can move the mountains of hatred, turmoil, pain, fear, and hopelessness in our world today. 

Won’t you pray with me?


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