verb. to meet or face courageously; to defy; challenge; dare.
I’m the little girl who made herself sick envisioning every possible worst case scenario. The teenager (okay, fine, and twenty-something-year-old) who made her mom schedule her appointments for her. The young adult who still won’t go anywhere without a detailed Google search entailing general location, specific directions, and step by step instructions for making it through the front door to whichever room or office I need to get to.
So the idea of being brave? Preposterous.
I’ve been dreaming of this blog for nearly two years. Two years of cowardism. Two years of procrastination because “the timing is wrong” or “I’m not ready.” Two years of waiting for things to be perfect. Two years of posting less and less often on my wordpress hosted site.
But the dream never died.
And then this quote popped up on my Pinterest feed:
And I realized that I want to be great. I want to use the gifts I’ve been given to inspire a generation. I want to stop dreaming and start working. I want to be a jar of clay. I want to reach the end and hear “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little, I will put you over much,” regarding my usage of the talents I have received.
So I bought a domain all of my own.
I’ve done my research. I know that, for searchability reasons, my blog name needs to match my URL. Yet I was disheartened to find my dream domain name–and virtually every variation of it–was already owned by someone hoping to sell it for a six-figure price.
I’m a very indecisive person by nature, but I’ve always been certain of one thing:
My life theme is Wide Open.
Based on the Message version of 2 Corinthians 6:11-13, I’ve always been drawn to this idea that everyone has the potential to lead a life as wide open as the Nebraska landscape, if they so choose. Wide Open symbolizes potential, it sends a clear message and provides a definitive call to action. I was at a loss when I discovered it wouldn’t be possible to use that message and call for my new and improved space.
Using my own name as the title for my blog feels beyond pretentious.
I’m no one special. I have no degree or certified training that screams “I’m smart–listen to what I have to say!” In fact, there is absolutely nothing about me alone that should draw you to this blog. I’m a failing perfectionist. I’m a worrier. I’m a sinner. I’m a twenty-something-year-old flailing to stay afloat in this insane thing called “adulthood.” I’m a people pleaser.
I’m a coward.
But, oh dear people, I long to be brave. I dream of reaching the point where my comfort zone fits more like oversized sweatpants instead of shrunken starched jeans. To someday feel at home in the unknown. I long to truly be a thinker, a dreamer, a creator, and a world changer.
And that is my vision for this blog.
That this pretentiously-named acre on the internet will minister and move people, not by any power of my own, but by the grace of God Himself. I desire to see this become a refuge for those wanting more out of life, those desiring to see God work in and through them, those hoping to be brave.
Because sometimes the only real way to live, is to step out of the bubble. To stretch out the starchy jeans. To hope and dream and fly and fall. To stick out your tongue and taste this world made out of sugar, despite the possibility of it crumbling in your hands. To recklessly pursue what sets your soul on fire.
TO BE BRAVE.